It’s not your job to like me, it’s mine!

Janki Shastri
6 min readAug 3, 2023

It’s not your job to like me, it’s mine.” These simple yet powerful words encapsulate a profound truth – the responsibility of self-acceptance lies solely with oneself. Too often, we find ourselves yearning for the approval and validation of others, seeking external validation to define our self-worth. However, in order to truly embrace our authentic selves and lead fulfilling lives, we must grasp this vital concept.

To begin understanding this concept, we need to recognize that our self-worth should never be based on the opinions of others. The problem with relying on external validation is that it places our happiness and self-esteem in the hands of someone else. It gives others the power to determine our worth, and sadly, this power can be easily abused or taken away. True happiness and self-fulfillment can only be achieved when we take ownership of our self-esteem and decide that our opinion of ourselves matters more than anyone else’s.

In our quest for acceptance, we often manipulate our behavior, change our opinions, or sacrifice our own happiness just to fit into societal norms. We mistakenly believe that if we can win the approval of others, we will achieve happiness and a sense of purpose. However, this approach is fundamentally flawed. It places our self-worth in the hands of others, relinquishing control over our own lives. It leads to a never-ending cycle of seeking validation that can ultimately become a prison of self-doubt and misery.

Accepting responsibility for liking oneself requires a profound shift in perspective. It starts with recognizing our intrinsic worth, acknowledging that self-love and self-acceptance are essential foundations for personal growth. It is embracing the notion that our self-worth should not be determined by external factors such as the opinions of others, societal standards, or cultural expectations. Instead, our self-worth should be rooted in our own values, beliefs, and the unique qualities we bring to the world.

When we take ownership of liking ourselves, we begin to cultivate self-compassion. We stop seeking approval from others and focus on cultivating a loving and nurturing relationship with ourselves. This involves acknowledging our flaws and imperfections without judgment, embracing our strengths and celebrating our achievements. Self-compassion allows us to foster acceptance and kindness towards ourselves, creating a solid foundation upon which we can build a fulfilling life.

Moreover, when we fully accept ourselves, we open the door for genuine connections with others. Paradoxically, by relinquishing the need for approval, we invite genuine connection and acceptance from others to enter our lives. People are naturally drawn to authenticity and confidence, creating opportunities for fulfilling relationships based on mutual respect and appreciation. When we genuinely like ourselves, we attract people who genuinely like us for who we are.

Accepting that it is our responsibility to like ourselves grants us the freedom to be authentic. When we stop seeking validation from others, we no longer feel the need to conform to societal norms or fit into a mold that was never meant for us. We can embrace our quirks, embrace our unique perspectives, and find joy in our own individuality. By liking ourselves, we are giving ourselves permission to live an unapologetically genuine life

However, embracing self-acceptance and self-love does not imply arrogance or an ignorance of personal growth. It involves understanding that we are a work in progress, continually evolving and learning from our experiences. Accepting oneself is not an excuse for complacency or stagnation but rather an acknowledgment that our worth is not conditional on our achievements or external validation.

Furthermore, taking responsibility for liking ourselves empowers us to pursue our passions and dreams wholeheartedly. It enables us to step out of our comfort zones, knowing that our self-worth is not dependent on the outcome or the judgment of others. We become free to explore new opportunities, take risks, and grow as individuals without the fear of failure or rejection holding us back.

Acknowledging that it is not the job of others to like us liberates us from the shackles of seeking external validation. It empowers us to chart our own path, make decisions based on our own values, and lead lives rooted in authenticity. By embracing self-love and self-acceptance, we can cultivate a deep sense of fulfillment, foster meaningful connections, and unlock our fullest potential. So, let us take ownership of our liking and accept that it is our prerogative, not the duty of others.

In a world obsessed with external validation, it can be easy to fall into the trap of seeking others’ approval and affirmation. We believe that our value as individuals hinges on whether or not people like us. We become accustomed to altering our behavior, hiding our true selves, and compromising our happiness in the pursuit of being liked by everyone we encounter. However, this constant quest for acceptance is both exhausting and futile. It is time we embrace the idea that it is not their job to like us; it is ours.

Liking ourselves also means accepting our flaws and imperfections. No one is perfect, and striving for perfection will only lead to disappointment and self-loathing. However, when we take ownership of liking ourselves, we can learn to love our flaws and see them as part of what makes us beautifully human. Embracing our imperfections allows us to grow, learn, and become better versions of ourselves without the constant pressure to be flawless.

Moreover, liking ourselves does not mean disregarding personal growth or refusing to acknowledge our shortcomings. It means having the self-awareness and the courage to recognize our areas of improvement and work on them without attaching our worth to them. When we take responsibility for liking ourselves, we can pursue personal growth with self-compassion and understanding, rather than with self-criticism and harsh judgment.

By not relying on others to like us, we create space for authentic connections to flourish. When we are comfortable in our own skin and genuinely like ourselves, our relationships become more genuine and fulfilling. We attract people who appreciate us for who we truly are, rather than those who are drawn to a facade we create to please others. By taking responsibility for liking ourselves, we create an environment that allows for meaningful and genuine connections.

Understanding that it is not someone else’s job to like us also frees us from the burden of seeking constant validation. When we are continuously seeking the approval of others, their opinions can dictate our actions, decisions, and even our self-worth. We may end up living a life that is not true to who we are simply to please others. When we recognize that it is our responsibility to like ourselves, we can make choices based on our own values, desires, and dreams. We can live a life that is aligned with our own authentic selves and pursue our passions without the fear of judgment or rejection.

Lastly, taking ownership of liking ourselves enables us to prioritize our well-being. When we recognize that it is not someone else’s job to like us, we can focus on self-care and self-love. We can prioritize our mental, emotional, and physical health without feeling guilty or selfish. Liking ourselves means understanding that our well-being is our responsibility, and we should not rely on others to give us the love and care we deserve.

In conclusion, it is not anyone else’s job to like us; it is ours. External validation is fleeting and unreliable, and seeking it will only lead to disappointment and an unfulfilled life. By taking ownership of our own self-acceptance and self-love, we empower ourselves to live authentically, embrace our flaws, pursue personal growth, and build genuine connections. We free ourselves from the burden of constant approval-seeking and open the door to a life that is truly our own. So, let us take responsibility for liking ourselves and create a fulfilling and authentic life on our own terms.

Love thyself! You are the best enough to be just the way you are 💕💕💕

Picture courtesy: Google Images.

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Janki Shastri

A writer, a poet, a translator/interpreter , a maverick, sharing my heart out , my expression in words.